Secrets of an Introvert

30 Jan

Pic via google image

Most of my life I have sat back and watched society celebrate extroversion. People that are outgoing, somehow are seen as being more exciting, freer and generally more fun than introverts, who alot of the time are seen as being repressed, lonely or unhappy. This couldn’t be further from the truth! I’m so glad I came across this article written by a blogger named Carl King. I found myself shaking my head in agreement, and saying “yes!” aloud after reading EVERY point. I have tried for years trying to explain my personality to my family and friends, but to no avail.  I can’t tell you how good it feels to find an article so succinct in explaining introverted-ness. Although I despise being labeled, I love that I now know what I am. I am introverted, and there’s nothing wrong with it. ‘Hello, my name is Chelsea and I am an Introvert.’ Phew, I feel much better now 🙂

Here is a list of 10 myths for all you introvert’s out there; and for you extroverts who may want to better understand your introverted partner or friends. If you are extroverted, and want to better understand your introverted friends or colleagues, here is another great article.

Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.

This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.

Myth #2 – Introverts are shy.

Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite.

Myth #3 – Introverts are rude.

Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.

Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people.

On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.

Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public.

Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts.

 Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone.

Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.

Myth #7 – Introverts are weird.

Introverts are often individualists. They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy.

Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof nerds.

Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them; it’s just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them.

Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.i

Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up.

Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts.

A world without Introverts would be a world with few scientists, musicians, artists, poets, filmmakers, doctors, mathematicians, writers, and philosophers. That being said, there are still plenty of techniques an Extrovert can learn in order to interact with Introverts. (Yes, I reversed these two terms on purpose to show you how biased our society is.) Introverts cannot “fix themselves” and deserve respect for their natural temperament and contributions to the human race. In fact, one study (Silverman, 1986) showed that the percentage of Introverts increases with IQ. 

 I’ve never subscribed to the theory that people had to be the same to be equal. We are all different, and it’s a wonderful thing! I love all of my extroverted brothers and sisters, but I also love getting to be my introverted self. I hope now with all of the available information, extroverts and introverts can start to better understand eachother.

I love this quote from actor, Anthony Hopkins.  He likes to socialize occasionally, but feels his main non-acting activities (playing the piano, composing music, and taking road trips) would be less pleasurable with other people along. “Most of the time,” he told an interviewer, “I am enough. One’s company, two’s a crowd.” Couldn’t have said it better myself Mr. Hopkins.

Love to you all,


2 Responses to “Secrets of an Introvert”

  1. Weird Wanderer January 31, 2012 at 5:57 am #

    I’m an introvert and proud of being weirdly thus. I like to read and see little point in blithering on merely for the sake of noise. I’m not what one would call “shy,” rather more of a contemplative.

    Wonderful perspective. Excellent post!

  2. chelsea8585 February 3, 2012 at 11:44 pm #

    @Weirdwanderer Thanks! And I agree, I’m not what people think of as shy either.I think that’s a huge misconception among alot of people who are around introverts. We aren’t wierd, we just process life experiences differently from some others– ain’t nothin’ wrong with that! 😉

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